Brilliant or Insane?: relationships

10 Ways to Kill Relationships with Your Students

By Reed Gillespie

via: barnesandnoble.com

Every novice teacher has been told, “Don’t smile until Christmas,” or “You have to establish yourself as an authoritarian.”

I’m not sure worse advice could be given. We might as well call such advice what it is How to kill your relationships with your students.

Here are ten other ways to ~~establish yourself as an authoritarian~~ kill relationships with your students.

Threaten students and use loss-framed statements - If you do that, this (negative punishment) will happen to you. Simply flipping the statement into a positive context, If you do this, then something good will happen to you, turns the statement from one of manipulation to a commitment to the student.
Treat each student the same - Fair isn't everyone getting the same thing. Fair is everyone getting what he/she needs to be successful.
Never admit mistakes - Educators must model and build trust; admitting mistakes will set an example for your students to follow.
Blame your students Instead of blaming the students, their poor work habits, their lack of skills, social-familial factors, etc. ask yourself, “What can I do now to make sure they’ll learn it?” Even better, ask them.
Don’t worry about your students’ lives outside of your classroom - As John Wooden said, “Seek opportunities to show you care. The smallest gestures often make the biggest difference.”
Operate with a fixed mindset - Educators with a fixed mindset believe intelligence is fixed. They can often be heard in the teacher’s workroom complaining about students lacking skills or abilities. They’ll label students and place the primary responsibility for student learning on the students. Instead, teach with a growth-mindset, one in which you believe in your power to change, influence and teach all students.
Don’t allow students second chances - If it's important enough to teach, it's important enough for students to learn. Failure is part of the learning process and provides an opportunity for learning and growth. We must teach our students to rise to the challenge of our high expectations, to continuously learn and we must reward students for their sustained efforts.
Don’t adjust your teaching to meet your students’ needs - One-size-fits-all and teaching to the "middle" students is easier, but we must find ways to reach each and every student.
Be negative - Negativity only fuels further negativity. Teachers who look for flaws in their students will find them, but will have little time left to build students' academic and social skills.
Never offer explanations -"I'm the teacher," simply doesn't fly, nor does "Because I said so." Student questions deserve a true response, whether it's to "Why are we learning this?" or "Do we have to do this?" We should be able to provide our students with a legitimate answer. If we can't, why are they doing it?

Teachers should strive to establish themselves as the classroom authority, but doing so doesn’t require us to be authoritarian or dictatorial. By listening, explaining and building relationships with our students, enables us to maintain control while building trust and respect.

Reed Gillespie writes about education for Brilliant or Insane. Learn more about Reed on our Team page. Follow Reed on Twitter here.

8 things all Students Need from their teachers

By Reed Gillespie

via: contemplatingmontessori.wordpress.com

Our most challenging students need at least one adult in whom they can confide; someone who makes them feel special. Students need someone to support them, someone they can turn to when times are tough.

Building relationships through shared emotions that foster long-lasting connections can be created in numerous ways. Here are eight things all students need rom their teachers to create connections that facilitate learning.

Let students see you as a real person. Doing so opens the door for them to share their lives with you. The door should not be wide open, but by intertwining personal anecdotes into lessons, sharing our own experiences and professional hopes and expectations, students will see you as more than an information dispenser.
Let your students know that you care about them and that you’re there for them. Strive to make every student feel as if they are your favorite. Find the positive in each an every student.
Take an interest in their lives. I strived to meet each student as they entered my classroom with a personal question. One particularly helpful strategy I learned: spend 2 minutes a day for 2 consecutive weeks talking to your most challenging students about something other than school. Doing so while students worked individually minimized lost instructional time and paid off in the long run.
Don’t treat all students the same. While it’s important to treat everyone with respect, it’s equally important to know what will work with one student will not work with another.
Believe in all students. Countless studies indicate that the expectations teachers have for students come to fruition. Constantly communicate high behavioral and academic expectations for all students.
Build a positive class culture. Search for opportunities for students to be proud and show off your class achievements. Brag to other teachers, parents, anyone who will listen about your students. Trust me when I say, “it will get back to your students.”
Listen. Nothing says you care more than listening intently and sincerely to your students. Even if you don’t agree with their point or actions, let them know that you recognize and value them.
Never criticize the student. Focus on the misbehavior and not the student, value the student above all else.

Students will only open themselves up to us when they feel valued and respected. Each student must have an educator ready to champion for them. We should all strive to be remembered by our students as the teacher who made a difference.

Reed Gillespie writes about education for Brilliant or Insane. Learn more about Reed on our Team page. Follow Reed on Twitter here.